The Insanity at the Haunted Mansion
by Lady Lavender
Summary: The g-boys and g-girls plan their Halloween trip to a haunted mansion. I have added a new character, Verona Kushrenada so now Trowa has a match. Basically my pathetic attempt at humor. Please R&R. Enjoy!!!!! Note: A non-yaoi/non-yuri fic.
1. Intro.

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The Insanity at the Haunted Mansion: Intro.

By ~Lady Lavender~

Hello to all who have dared read my insane fic. Note: I do not own BMW, Gundam Wing or any of its characters, they belong to their rightful owners (you know who you are). Also, I'm making no profit off this story so don't sue me. Okay, author's note here: this is my pathetic attempt at humor, so if it sucks deal with it. I made up the character Verona Kushrenada cuz I thought Trowa deserved to have a match too. There, now about Verona, she's Treize's pretty niece (and doesn't have those strange, yucky eyebrows), she has yellow-green eyes, reddish brown hair, and she's extremely famous cuz she stars in all these BMW commercials, and she's also a duchess from Monaco (okay, I just made that up now, so, don't send me hate mail if there's something wrong with it). Basically, all the guys love her, and most girls hate her. She's also a world class fencing champ, and a good friend of Hilde and Sally. Okay, enough blabber, on with the insanity. 

The story takes place a year after Endless Waltz, the g-boys are working for the Preventers along with Sally, Noin, Lady Une, and Milliardo sometimes helps too. Relena is the Vice Foreign Minister, Dorothy is just there for the picture, and Verona stars in BMW commercials and helps out the Preventers too. It's the time around Halloween and the g-boys and g-girls decide to take some time off to do something fun for Halloween. They all argue over suggestions for their Halloween activity at the Preventer base:

Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Relena, Dorothy, and Verona, all are trying to come up with Halloween suggestion while waiting for Hilde, Noin, Sally, Milliardo, and Lady Une to get back from grocery shopping.

"I suggest we have a masked ball," Relena yells out. 

"A masked ball?" "That most definitely isn't something good for Halloween; Halloween is supposed to be very scary and spooky," protests Duo. 

"Halloween is for stupid, damn weakling onnas that have nothing better to do," Wufei adds in.

"Wufei, that's very mean, apologize," says the all around cheerful Quatre.

"Kisama," answers Wufei

"Wufei, that language is inappropriate, I won't take it," responds Quatre who was now beginning to get very annoyed.

Duo, Trowa, and Heero (who was too busy polishing his gun to give any suggestions) sweatdrop. 

"I think Miss Relena's idea was just great," the evil eyebrows girl Dorothy says.

"Masked balls are just as boring as Relena's speeches," protests Verona, "We need to do something fun, exciting, and scary," " I think I know just what the thing too." 

"Oh yeah, what, spend a day at your mansion while you and Trowa stare at each other continually?" Dorothy says in a rather evil manner

"At least he stares back," "I never saw Quatre looking at you like he actually wants you," Verona defends herself.

Dorothy puts her evil glare on her face, and starts getting into a catfight with Verona. The boys try to break it up, but are unsuccessful, and give up. 

"Those two just never stop fighting do they?" asks Duo with a big grin on his face. "Verona's quite the girl, huh?" he asks while turning to Trowa.

Trowa gets slightly red and then answers "Yeah, she's something alright," "I can't believe I actually met her, she's simply great." 

Heero, who was getting sick of hearing Dorothy screaming (since Verona was obviously beating her up), took out his gun and gave them his famous deathglare, which ended the fight. Verona straightened herself up, while Dorothy went and complained about Verona to poor Quatre who had no choice but to listen."

"Okay, glad that's all settled, now what about your suggestion Verona?" Duo asked anxious to hear what was on Verona's mind.

"Okay, right, the suggestion that I was gonna say before I was so rudely interrupted (gives Dorothy a dirty look), is to go and spend the Halloween night at this deserted mansion that's supposedly haunted," Verona responds

"GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!" everybody (including Hilde, Noin, Sally, Milliardo, and Lady Une, who had just arrived and listened to the suggestion) responds, that is excluding Wufei who thinks everything is unjust and weak.

"Yes, that's good, I'm surprised such a suggestion came from you Verona," said Relena, who didn't seem to like Verona very much.

"YESYESYES, when do we leave for the mansion?" asked a very excited Hilde.

"Tomorrow," replied Verona; "It's Oct. 30, so we'll be at the mansion in the Black Forest just in time for Halloween."

"THIS IS INJUSTICE!!!!!!!" Wufei barked. "I'm not gonna be dragged there to hafta spend a night in this weakling mansion with a bunch of insane onnas."

All the girls give Wufei a very cold stare, so he quickly drops the complaints and agrees to come along.

"See, I knew you would Wufei," remarks Sally, looking very happy that Wufei agreed.

"Okay dudes, we need to get packin', so on to it," shouts a rather hyperactive Duo.

"Right," approves Quatre.

The g-boys and g-girls leave off to start packing and to prepare whatever needed for the trip to the haunted mansion. TO BE CONTINUED…

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Okay, so how did ya all like my fic? R&R, please!!!!! Stay tuned for the next part: the trip to the haunted mansion, all the lovely quarrels, the answer to: is the mansion really haunted? and the unexpected visitor!!!! I promise the next part to be a lot longer, exciting, and more humorous!!!! Thanks for reading~Lady Lavender~(I'LL STOP THE INSANITY FOR NOW, THAT IS ONLY FOR NOW, OR UNTIL MY NEXT COKE!!!)


	2. Part 1

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The Insanity at the Haunted Mansion: Part 1

By ~Lady Lavender~

Note: I do not own Gone With the Wind, Gameboy, Mario, Tetris, Gundam Wing or any of its characters, they belong to their rightful owners, which I'm sure know who they are. Okay, the insane Part 1 of my story is here. Don't mind the insanity, the author (me) had one too many cherry cokes and truffles. Okay, enjoy and please, please, please, please review (I love reviews, they make me happy ^_~!!!!!) I don't mind criticism so please feel free to write/ask anything in your reviews. 

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Continuation from: The Insanity at the Haunted Mansion: Intro.

Later that night:

The g-boys and g-girls finished gathering their things needed for the haunted mansion. They each said goodnight and walked off to bed. Wufei resumed his complaining about injustice while being dragged off by Sally. The morning was soon, to come and they would need lots of rest for the upcoming adventure...lots o' rest (hey, this is a big clue). Anyway, morning came, announced by the vociferous cry of roosters….wait, wrong setting…sorry….by the loud bing of the alarm clock (there, that's better). They loaded the stuff into the bus (hey, they all together are 13 so they need somethin' big). They were just about to leave when:

"Hey, where's Verona?" asked a sleepy Hilde.

"No idea," replied Duo.

"Trowa, have you seen her?" questioned the only person who looked awake, Quatre.

"No idea, I thought she said she was coming, but that was a while ago," replies Trowa.

"How like her to be unreliable," comments Dorothy.

"Aww, shut up, Dorothy!!!" Hilde implied.

Then, Sally rushes down to the bus and yells "Hey, I found Verona, she's kinda still asleep though".

Then, Heero gets up from the driver's seat, and proceeds forward. "Hey, Heero, where are ya goin' buddy?" Duo questions.

"I'm going to go and wake her up, I can't wait here forever you know," he answers.

While Heero was making his way up, everybody put on very concerned faces. 

"This is not going to be good!" exclaimed Noin.

A few minutes later:

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" 

" Omae o korosu!" Heero gives out his favorite line.

"Wake up or die!" Heero adds.

"Don' t cha do that again!" Verona wails, "Are you trying to scare the hell out of me or something?" 

Loud, banging noises are heard from Verona's room. Then, Heero's gun magically pops out through the window and lands on Relena's head, knocking her unconscious.

"Never, never, scare me like that!" screams Verona. "I'll get up now, happy?"

"Mission complete" Heero walks away and lets Verona get ready.

Everybody sweatdrops and go and help Relena, who's sprawled flat on the floor, the gun next to her. 

Duo couldn't hold his laugh back "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!". "Did you see that gun drop strait on her head?" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" 

Soon Hilde joined in at the laughter. 

"Laughter is for weaklings and onnas," Wufei remarked.

Duo began to get annoyed at Wufei so he began chasing him around the bus.

Everyone (except Duo and Wufei) sweatdrop. After getting tired of chasing Wufei, Duo goes back and talks to Hilde. A few moments later, Verona comes down the stairs, wearing a baby blue spaghetti strap shirt and jean flares, and not looking very happy or awake. Trowa follows, carrying nonetheless Verona's stuff (2 big duffel bags). 

"Onna, why do ya need all that stuff for?" questions Wufei.

"Because, I need it and that's that," answers Verona.

Trowa loads the remaining stuff into the bus and everyone (including the unconscious Relena, who was dragged in by Heero) get in. 

On the way to the mansion:

"Yes, finally, we get to leave!" exclaims Milliardo.

"We would have left a lot earlier, if Verona would be responsible for once," Dorothy adds with a grin.

"Shut the hell up Dorothy," Verona responds.

"Don't you tell me to shut up, you…you….indecent…woman!" " If you weren't here, Relena wouldn't be unconscious, and everything would be so much more peaceful!" 

"Oh, yeah, if something's the matter, then why don't you just leave?" Verona interrogates.

"Grrrr……I hate you!!!!!" Dorothy mumbles.

"Enough, both of you!" Quatre tries to break the argument.

"Aww, Quatre, you party-pooper, catfights are great" Duo protests.

After Hilde elbows him, Duo decides to get back to his Mario Gameboy game.

Wufei pouts some more about weakling onnas, Heero just keeps on driving, Relena's still unconscious after the gun incident, Quatre looks happily out the window, Milliardo and Noin are cuddling in the back of the bus, Lady Une reads Gone With the Wind, Duo and Hilde try to beat each others high scores on a Tetris game (Duo got bored of the Mario one, so he changed it), Sally just laughs at Wufei's injustice speeches, Verona and Dorothy are still arguing, and Trowa just sweatdrops at seeing them (he already gave up trying to break up the argument). 

Five hours later:

"Great, we're here!" exclaimed Noin.

"Finally," said Relena, who had woken up not too long ago, and was now joining Dorothy at bashing Verona.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Relena, you should have seen yourself, plopped down on the ground!" yelled Hilde, who obviously enjoyed teasing Relena and Dorothy along with Verona.

"It was funny, I must admit," Sally added.

The boys, Noin, and Lady Une sweatdrop. They soon got out of the bus and march up to the haunted mansion. The mansion looked very dark, and not at all inviting, but afterall, it was Halloween, and well, the whole point was for it to look creepy. 

"Oh, Heero, I'm so scared, why don't you carry me up into the house?" Relena asked Heero.

"Dream on," he answered.

"Hey, Duo, you will, won't ya?" asked an anxious Hilde.

"Sure thing Hildey babe!" Duo answered, and picks up Hilde, spinning her around as they climbed the stairs up. Hilde began having a giggling frenzy.

"Trowa…….," Verona pleaded, flashing her eyebrows, "Can you……".

"Yes, yes, I know, I'll carry your stuff for you," he answered.

"Well, actually, I was…..," but Trowa went away and carried the stuff to the mansion before she could finish her sentence.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, seems like Trowa doesn't like you much, eh, Verona?"

Dorothy added in with a smile, while hugging Quatre at the same time.

"Why don't you mind your own business for once Dorothy?" Verona suggested.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" Dorothy laughed evilly.

"Just ignore her," Quatre told her, "And I'm sure Trowa really likes you," 

"Well, I'll get her back somehow, and as for Trowa, I'll just try to forget about it," Verona answer's him, still looking hurt that Trowa hadn't understood her.

"Well, Verona, wanna a love tip?" Lady Une asked.

"Um…that's okay, even though I'm sure your very um….experienced with that stuff," she answered.

"Remember, I'm kinda like your aunt, so, if you need anything, just say so," Lady Une stated.

"Right," Verona said.

"Hey, Lady Une, you must miss my uncle right?" 

"Oh, yes, but his memory still lives on, that's good for now," Lady Une walked away as she said this.

"Okay, this is great, I'm bored, just standing here, so I'm just gonna head up to the mansion too," Verona said to herself.

Inside the mansion:

"Okay, where are we sleeping?" Relena asked.

"How about we just all sleep in the living room, it's big enough, we can all just put our sleeping bags there," Quatre suggested.

"YES!!!!" everyone agreed.

They all began unpacking then changed into their pajamas and began setting up their sleeping bags. Relena put hers right next to Heero's, despite his complaints, Sally's was right next to Wufei's, better said practically on Wufei's, Quatre put his right alongside Dorothy, Noin and Milliardo put theirs in a very darkened corner, away from everybody, Hilde and Duo had to share sleeping bags since Duo forgot to pack his, Lady Une just put hers somewhere, and Verona was still looking for hers, Trowa, however was busy putting his somewhere.

"Um, Trowa, you haven't seen mine, have you?" Verona asked him after giving up looking for it.

"Verona, yours is right next to mine,"

"Ahh, duh, silly, me why didn't I think I'd be next to you?" she asked, while blushing heavily. "Aww, Trowa, your so sweet". 

They soon started kissing until they were interrupted by Wufei saying kissing is for weaklings. Sally soon followed Wufei, and dragged him back to their little place, also starting to kiss as soon as they got back.

"Okay…….they think we're strange, just look at them," Verona stated.

Back in Noin and Milliardo's little corner……they were um…having..lot's o' fun. Hilde and Duo were busy too, Lady Une was resuming her reading, Heero was trying to get Relena away from him, and Dorothy was busy talking to Quatre.

After everybody got bored of their so-called activities, they decided to play some sort of game until 12 am, when Halloween officially started.

At 12 am:

"It's Halloween!!!!" screamed Duo. "You guys did pack some candy right, cuz we need to… um… celebrate!!!"

"Course we did!!!" shouts Sally. "I made some brownies and Verona brought along 50 packs of cherry truffles". 

Verona and Sally rushed to get the goodies but were interrupted by Relena and Dorothy who volunteered to get them. Since most people couldn't wait to get rid of the latter mentioned, they quickly agreed. Relena and Dorothy went downstairs to get the goodies from the very old and half covered with mold refrigerator. However, just as they were going down the stairs, Relena stepped on a loose stair (which was actually a trap door) and her and Dorothy fell into some old chamber covered with cowwebs.

"AHHHHH, WHERE THE HELL ARE WE????????!!!!!" Dorothy asked.

"No idea," answered Relena who was busy fussing about all the spiders around her. 

"HEERO!!!!!" "Come and save your damsel in distress here!!!" she pleaded, but of course Heero didn't come, he couldn't even hear her (even if he did, he probably wouldn't anyway). Instead, another voice (a strange ghostly one) answered, better said chuckled loudly:

"HEE HEE, HAA HAA, HOO HOO!!!" 

"AHHHHHH, WHO IN THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU???" questioned the very frightened Dorothy and Relena.

Then a chubby hermit looking dwarf came out and said: "I'm Chuck the friendly ghost; no need to fear unless you piss me off or something; I happened to own this mansion for over a thousand years."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA, you expect us to be afraid of a dimwit like yourself, HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Dorothy burst out laughing.

Chuck didn't look amused, in fact he was deeply insulted. "You have angered THE Chuck, you all shall pay now!!!!" 

"Nice going Dorothy," Relena stated.

"NOW FOR YOUR PUNISHMENT!!!! HEE HEE, HAA HAA, HOO HOO!!!" Chuck laughed evilly, "You are to clean this chamber and rid it of every single spider, or else you'll never get out of here!!!" "HEE HEE, HAA HAA, HOO HOO!!!" Just as he finished speaking, a broom and dustpan popped out of hammerspace. "I'll be back once you're finished; I'm gonna go see your friends later too!!!" and he left, leaving Relena and Dorothy the only choice left but to obey. Relena kept screaming at the spiders and then dropped the dustpan all the time, so all the dust kept rearranging back in place. 

"Great, we'll never get out of here at this rate," Dorothy thought.

Meanwhile, back with the rest of the crew (about 1 hr. later):

"Where did they disappear?" Verona questioned.

"Somewhere out into thin air, cuz their nowhere to be seen," stated Quatre.

"Oh well, maybe they're trying to scare us or something," proposed Trowa.

"Yeah, let's just forget about them party poopers and get on with the fun," Shinigami declared.

"Okay," they all agreed.

So, not knowing what actually happened to Relena and Dorothy, the rest of the crew decided to have a scary stories contest. Wufei went first, his story being about the day when Nataku was dishonored.

"Wu-man, this is supposed to be scary, not humorous!" Duo stated.

"Shut up Maxwell, that is scary," he answered. Everyone else sweatdropped.

"Um…okay, who's next?" asked Noin who was tired of the constant arguing going around.

"I am," shouted Milliardo.

"AHHH, Milliardo, if it's something you say, it'll be great!!!" Noin assumed looking lovingly up at Milliardo.

Milliardo went (his story was about the fall of the Sank Kingdom) followed by Verona (who's story was the day perfume and lotion ceases to exist~I don't blame her, I'd freak out too), Lady Une (her story was inspired by Gone With the Wind, so it was about Red Butler killing Scarlet~don't ask), Trowa went next (it was about the day hair gel ceases to exist~no wonder he and Verona like each other) Quatre went after Trowa (his story was about poisonous tea that killed hundreds of people), Noin decide she wasn't feeling creative and skipped her turn, Duo was next (about Hilde's hair in the morning~he got an extremely cold look from Hilde), so when Hilde went next her story was about Duo's hair in the morning, Sally's was about Wufei's pink undies (oh my), and Heero went last, his story was about Ken the terrorist.

"Okay, that was interesting, I believe Heero wins," all except Heero shouted aloud. Heero put on a half smile. "What now?" "Why don't we split up and look for Dorothy and Relena, and in the meantime we also get to look around the spooky house," Lady Une (who had finally finished reading Gone With the Wind) suggested. Everyone agreed so they separated in small groups (Grp. 1: Trowa, Verona , Lady Une and Quatre, Grp. 2: Duo, Hilde, Sally and Wufei, Grp. 3: Heero, Noin, and Milliardo). They began searching and looking around in their groups unaware of the deeply insulted Chuck, Relena's and Dorothy's whereabouts, or the dangers/fun/adventure awaiting them. TO BE CONTINUED…

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Wasn't that crappy??? Please review!!! More to come: the perils during the group search parties, Chuck's rampage (since he feels everyone must pay because of Dorothy's comment), other mysteries from the mansion, the séance (who was called?), will the Gundams be needed (find out about Tallgeese 50 Million)? And of course MORE INSANITY!!! I hope you enjoyed my pathetic attempt at Gundam Wing humor, stay tuned for Part 2!! Arivederci, Sayanora, Auviderzen, and Good Bye for now!!! ^_~ 


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